I don’t remember ever feeling so close to cracking up…I was dancing pretty close to the edge of the furthest point from peace…As I sat with pages of a talk I was supposed to give that night I felt in meltdown mode…
All I could hear in my head were negative vibes and I was scaring myself with how quick I was being to agree and with how little faith I was showing. With half an hour to go before I left the house it was all a disaster…the kids wouldn’t engage…I was feeling rubbish…
OK so the night itself went really differently…It was a real case of a forward step taken with the bunch of young people we’re working with. Leads me to believe that what I caved into was a bit of a spiritual storm. Maybe even abit like the disciples experienced that time they were in the boat with Jesus sleeping…
I shared this story with the kids last night – now I need to listen up myself. So the disciples were in the midst of this storm that had crept up on them with the elements going manic around them. Pretty much like them I think I tried to ‘waken’ Jesus in my blind panic last night – ‘Don’t you care, this isn’t going to work!!’
Jesus’ response – to do His miraculous stuff – to calm the storm – engage the young people – and to turn to me and say: ‘Why were you afraid – Do you still have no faith?’.
